2023 Takeaways

1. Put Yourself First

In a world where we are taught to put others first, it’s time to put yourself first. Whether it be in school, friend conflicts, trauma, work, health, or expectations, it’s time to accept that you come first. This took me a long time to realize and understand, but ever since I have, I feel so much more at peace. While I am still working on it, “putting yourself first” is a very broad concept. This gives us room to perceive it how we want and figure out what would be most beneficial to us personally. From my experience so far, I’ve chosen to look at it in a way that doesn’t hurt other feelings or do others harm, but simply acknowledges when something doesn’t have a place in my life anymore and letting it go. This happened at the university I attended last year. While I loved the school and I knew everyone was so proud of me for moving away and starting a new journey, my health and my body were telling me that something wasn’t right. Eventually, I had no choice but to go home, and while it pained me and was extremely hard to accept, it was the best decision for me at the time. I needed to put myself first in that situation to thrive and stay healthy. It didn’t mean I “failed” everyone because I came home; it just meant that it wasn’t in store for me at that moment in time. And this can occur in relationships as well. As a college student, the hometown relationships you’ve had may start to fade. While it’s sad and vulnerable, it’s another situation where it may do more harm than good, and that’s when you know it’s time to put yourself first. The attachment you’ve had to these people your whole life is strong; however, when you are continuously getting hurt or hurting others by accident, it may be time to move on. As hard as it is to learn to prioritize yourself, sometimes it’s what has to be done, and that’s okay.

2. Knowing Your Worth

Take this with a grain of salt, because no one likes cocky people. However, you should not be getting walked all over. Or used. Or disregarded. Or shit talked. Or belittled. Or abused. Or made fun of. Or ignored. Or any of the other bullshit that people do nowadays. Within the last year, I have asked myself, my parents, and my therapist, if I am the issue. If there's something that no one is telling me. A reason why I have a hard time making friends. A reason why people ice me out. A reason I give so much, yet receive so little. And while sometimes it’s good to reflect on yourself, it’s also bringing you down. Know that there is a reason that you react a certain way, use a different tone, or don’t give people multiple chances to change. While knowing your worth can make for lonely times, I’ve found that I’d rather feel more alone than deal with crap that I know I don’t deserve. In 2024, let’s learn to let go of the things that aren’t worth our energy.

3. Don’t Chase

The saying “Don’t chase, attract” is a phrase you have probably heard a million times, and you’ll probably hear it a million more. But you get to a point where it finally resonates with you. I’ve recently gotten to that point myself. I’ve found no point in chasing people’s attention, or loyalty, or looks for that matter. It’s not worth your time when you always get disappointed in the end. If someone doesn’t want to give you attention, that just means that someone else does, even if you don’t know it. Those friends are fake? There are others you haven’t met yet who won’t be. That company doesn’t want to hire you? That’s their loss, and someone else will want to hire you. It’s not worth dwelling over things that aren’t meant for you, because what is meant for you, will find you. A friend recently pointed out to me that the phrase can be perceived in different ways and I want to be clear with how I perceive it. If you want something, go get it. Sitting around “waiting” won’t do you any good in some situations. However, like I said before, what is meant for you will find you!

4. Silence Is Power

This specific thought process has been difficult for me to grasp. As someone who feels all her emotions, I want to fire back when something upsets me. However, I’ve learned that it’s not always worth it. I’ve found that sometimes the best way to respond to a situation is to just not respond at all. Responding implies providing satisfaction to the other person or people by acknowledging that their actions have affected you negatively. It involves prolonging a situation unnecessarily. However, it's important to note that there are certain situations, such as in a work setting, with a teacher, or during a meeting, where a response may be necessary. When that’s the case, as much as you want to argue back, sometimes it’s better to take the higher road and respond in a short, sweet, and respectful way. With all this being said, don’t let people walk all over you. Stand up for yourself! If you know deep down who you are, then own it. Who cares what they think about you when, more importantly, you know yourself?

5. Trust The Process

This is a concept that I am still working on going into 2024. Two years ago, I thought my life right now would look very different than it does. And letting go of what I thought it would be like is hard, but it’s also relieving. If someone had told me a year ago what my situation looks like right now, I would have probably been frustrated because, at the time, that’s not how I wanted things to pan out. But looking back on the past year, it’s clear that everything happened for a reason. In the end, things will work out. I am extremely proud and happy with where I am currently, and I have no idea what the next year will bring. Trusting the process is hard at times, but sometimes the unknown is even better than what you thought you wanted.