It’s Okay To Miss What Once Was

I’m having a hard time putting into words what I want to say in this post, but I think the title says enough. Old emotions and memories have been coming up in the past few days, and it’s hard. It makes me sad that there are people and relationships that aren’t in my life anymore, but it also makes me happy that I have something to miss and be sad about.

I recently spent a week with my boyfriend and his best friend. While I love hanging out with them and seeing their connection, I would be lying if I said I miss having that. Through different stages of my life, I’ve had really good friends and connections that I hoped I wouldn’t lose. I did lose them. But that was a choice I made when my priorities and goals began to differ. However, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck. I miss having someone or a few people who knew everything that was going on in my life. I miss face-timing them to check in and chat. I miss asking them to hang out all the time. I miss supporting them and laughing with them. I miss when our friendship was simple and easy.

What I’ve begun to realize more and more is that as we get older, friendships don’t get easier. People mature at different rates. People have different perspectives. Different opinions. And when you don’t make the effort, it’s easy to drift apart. Are you going to regret drifting apart sometimes? Yes. Is that okay? Of course. In one of my first posts, I noted that it’s important to focus on the positive things that came out of the relationship, and while I still agree with that, I also think it’s important to know that it’s okay to miss what you used to have. Whether it’s a job, school, friends, places, etc., it’s normal to look back and miss what once was.

For me personally, I look back and know I could have put in more effort or done things differently. But everything happens for a reason. There is a reason why you are where you are right now in life. There’s a reason that job or friendship didn’t work out. I am confident enough in that to admit that I do miss those best friends. And I want people to know that it’s okay to miss things too. My dad has always told me, “hold onto the memories”.